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When it comes to parenthood, there is no exact guidebook and nobody can fully prepare you to become a parent. In 2019 my ex-husband and I were wanting to step into that next part in our relationship, and we began to try to conceive our now daughter. Like I mentioned before, no one can prepare you to be a parent, and no two children are the same- tactics used to raise one child may be a complete 360 degree spin with another child. If you spoke to me then vs now, my perspective of being a parent and things parents should or shouldn’t do would be extremely different.
Throughout my life I have always been a “spiritual” person and have always had “spiritual gifts”. There was a shift in my consciousness when I became a mother and I had a deeper remembrance to what is. My heart opened in a way that it had never has before, and I developed this ability to feel when something was in or out of alignment. When I held my daughter in my arms for the first time, there was an immediate instinct to protect her and I did not want to stop observing her. I felt how fragile and defenseless her small body was. The nurses provided me the basic information how to to care for her physically.
As new parents we gladly heard advice from family and friends. Topics ranging from medical, sleep, food, handling, behavioral, and the list goes on. As I was taking everything in and listened to what others advised, there was this feeling that would strike me if something felt off. I found myself doing things that were considered unconventional and some raised their eyebrows towards me- but I knew deep inside that I made the right choice and that it was okay. Of course when I reflect back there are things that I would change, but most of those aspects were due to my broken behavior- my reactions. Any of the unconventional parenting choices that my heart lead I have been at peace with.
Practicing this new gift of discernment and attunement, which I was granted when I had my daughter, lead me to what I do today and what I am still growing into. I was able to leave my corporate job, practice my energy work, and focus on raising my daughter. This was not an easy process and hit many bumps along the way, but it has provided the opportunity of my spiritual development in a massive way.
Stepping back now I am able to see the correlation with the growth of my spiritual development and every hardship I faced during those times lead me to be able to recognize and help raise my daughter in a supportive manner both emotionally and spiritually. That day in the hospital when I held her for the first time I had no idea what a magical experience this was all going to be.
The first time I really knew she was gifted when she was about a year and three months old. My ex-husband was a fireman in the past and had the patch with his last name from his fireman jacket sitting on top of an item in our breezeway. Our daughter walked up to it and proceeded to point and say, “Hot.. hot mama, hot.” Without anyone explaining to her where that patch came from or what it meant, she intuitively knew that it had been in fires and felt the energy of heat coming from that patch.
There have been many instances of her saying or explaining energies tied to a situation, person, or object which cannot be explained other than her being extremely intuitive. This has helped me launch forward in my inner work to dive as deeply as I am capable. I want to be a support system for her, all those I come in contact with, and myself. I personally was raised in an environment which suppressed the practice with my intuition. I want to help nurture her awareness of the spiritual connection within the physical as much as I can.
There is a new generation of children filling this planet with different energies. In order to receive them there is a collective effort needed to look within and see both one another with a wider perception. There is a large conversation that can happen amongst humanity with these gifted children, but this also comes in hand with the need to look within from a state of love and full awareness of the heart space. There is a fine balance of recognizing the damaged aspects of self-swirling into this pure intention and not allowing chaos or confusion to hinder the upward progression.
Every single moment of every day I have to be just as aware of myself, if not more, than my daughter is of me. It is a lot all at once, morphing and reflecting constantly. Love, grace, compassion, surrender, discernment, and the will of the innermost light within must shine all at once, and this can be extremely overwhelming. Being within the awareness of what is, as it is continuously morphing – is the only way I am able to step into that flow. This becomes easier with practice, but it must be practiced diligently. When I become too mentally involved, I physically find myself completely scattered; mentally and emotionally. I constantly remind myself to take one thing at a time, and because of instilling that within my daughter she reminds me of that too.
It amazes and frightens me when I see how much influence I have over the development of my daughter. When I tell her that the color is called “blue”, that then becomes her ultimate truth. At this early age she takes in all that I say, don’t say, feel, express, react- as her truth and what is. She is very wise and not a complete robot; I don’t want to strip away the existence her inner compass because she uses it well. What I have recognized is the responsibility and influence I have for both myself and her learned behavior. When I see her say or do something that reflects a part of her that has been imprinted into her energetic field and mind from an experience I have to stop and observe it all. I observe myself and how it makes me feel, I observe her and her learned behaviors and reactions.
I’ve considered writing these things down in a journal for her to give as a gift to help her heal in the future when I feel that she is ready, but I haven’t quite figured out if I want to do that yet or not. There is much of this life and how the universe flows that I am still learning and recognizing. My experience and view aren’t necessarily how she is going to take on life. She has her own choice and her own karma. She has her own spiritual growth and physical experience to take in. She gets to choose how to digest it. Right now, my role is to be the clearest version of myself in order to be that example in her life to expose her to a different perspective.
I have the ability to choose what compass I will use to help guide me in my day to day life. This comes with the choices of my eating habits, meditational practices, reactions, responses, cleanliness, expressions, and she is taking all of it in. The choice I make in life every moment not only reflect directly for her, but the collective consciousness as well. As the adults we need to look within. The more we look within, it has a ripple effect that will allow humanity as a whole to be turned inside out. This is not a pleasant experience, it is not all nice smelling flowers and beautiful skies. There is a darkness within all of our hearts, within this universe itself that we must look within and recognize. The microcosm, to the macrocosm. Let it begin within you, and the relationship between yourself and those around you. This in itself will be the support system these children need, and what we all need, in order to expand.
I encourage everyone to take every moment and be fully present. Take personal practices and remind yourself to feel the top of your head all the way down to the bottom of your feet. To feel your arms sway when you walk. Learn to recognize emotions you are feeling, and get to know what they are what they do to your body. This is what children do every moment, and they look to us for guidance and answers. To be able to help them we must know ourselves first. It can be a lot to take on, and do your best to be present and take on one task at a time- however you need to do that.
Just like there is no one fits all parenting technic, there is no singular person who can tell you how to heal other than releasing all resistance to what Is. One thing we all have in common and what connects us all is consciousness. What is consciousness? Consciousness exists everywhere, in its basic form we can call it energy.
How much we allow ourselves to tune into a frequency and stay there is completely up to each human. How much we allow ourselves to not only tune in, but hone in on the ability to change that frequency is key. The more we widen our perspective and release, the lotus begins to bloom. This is the human experience as I have come to see it. Take it with joy, just like our children do. Watching my daughter intuitively know how to literally shake off a feeling and run towards joy is baffling to my subconscious trauma. I start with observation and awareness, and allow myself to sink into that joy.
It is very important to not suppress or ignore the resistance. When you are in that state of tension and resistance, engage the mind and the heart in unison and begin to fully comprehend what that resistance is and its origination. The ups and downs of life are the pulse of this dualistic universe, and I advise those with compassion within to truly embrace all experiences as an opportunity to re-learn and expand.
When we raise our children consciously in love, we are also raising our inner child as well and creating new neurological pathways and therefore creating a new life experience.
I send love and blessings to all!
